Life Updates 2011

it's been a very long while. why do i resort back to blogging? well... you would probably know because of this: http://bloghuman2.blogspot.com/2011/07/love-not-taken.html

haha! anyways, what should i post here? i've been busy very much. work 80%. and the other 20%? love life / climbing and traveling / games and leisure / etc. never did get to realize time flies by so fast. and yet i have so many things to say. and still so many to do.

love life - since my last post, i think i've fallen twice. one to a beautiful woman in Davao. and the next that made me realize that i love her - a lovely lady friend. and as usual, both situations don't work well for me. **NOTE: i got to rid myself of this 'chicboy' tag on me. i've changed but i guess it's not yet enough. oh wells, whatever happens anyway...

climbing and traveling - this one got me hooked! i've been all over the Philippines, hundreds of beaches and dozens of mountains. these travels - whether in secret, alone, or with random fun groups are rightfully filling that hole in my dreams temporarily. the country is so diverse and so exciting. i can't wait to journey the world. and then the stars! ;p

games and leisure - i've got tech gadgets now. i'd say not enough, but lots. haha lots of movies and hollywood shows. and what else? books and manga, of course. there are so many good things here in this world! i love it.

now, work? i love it. why would i even devote 80% of my awake time for it, right? it's mostly because of the people. the project. everything. if i had to leave, it will not be because i don't like them anymore. no. it will be because i have to pursue my dream, and i have to move on. ;)

i guess that's it for now... maybe next time i'll post not only life updates, but also opinions and same geeky philosophical stuff like before.

25 & A HALF {Far from a true story, really!}

GUY(normal text)
GIRL(italic text)

Hayyy, ano na naman kaya tasks na ibibigay sakin ngaun. Sana naman yung may alam ako..

[Para!] Masikip na pala tong jeep. Saan kaya ako uupo?

Hmm? May chics!? San kaya siya uupo? Uusod nako para dito siya sa tabi ko. Oh? Ba’t ka lumagpas?

Oi. May pogi pala dito. Masyadong obvious pag tatabi ako sa kanya. Ok na rin dito, medyo tapat kami ng upuan. At least, nakikita ko siya.

Dito ka na lang sana sa tabi ko. Sayang. Miss, gusto kong magpakilala sana.

Pwede na to. Hm? Ah, nakatingin siya dito. Sa akin? Ngitian ko na lang. Teka, tama ba? Baka masyadong halata. Lingon muna ako sa labas... Traffic pala. Buti na lang maaga ako ngayon. Kailangan ko pa iprepare yung slides para sa meeting. Ba’t pa kasi bumisita pinsan ko kagabi. Ayan tuloy walang nagawa kundi magkwentuhan. Buti pa siya masaya sa bagong BF niya. Hayyy, ako ba? Magsisix months na nga ba? Ang bilis. Puro trabaho inaatupag ko. Nakailang date na rin kaya ako? Hanggang dun lang rin naman talaga muna kasi. Hindi ko pa nakikita yung tamang guy para sakin. Siya kaya? May hikaw, mukhang tigasin. Pero ok naman. May itsura.

[Nakayuko] Waa, tumingin siya. Ganda ng ngiti niya. 9.5 na! Hehehe. Pero mukhang suplada. Ok lang. Mas maganda yun, mas challenge. Nagka-GF nako ng mga suplada dati, dalawa pa dun model. Eh ang babait pala. Sabi nga nila, front lang daw nila yung pagiging ganun. Besides, alam na nila most of the guys may gusto sa kanila, so pinipili lang talaga nila yung seryoso sa sa kanilang tingin. Hahaha! Natutuwa ako habang inaalala ko sinabi nila. E hindi naman ako nagging ganun ka seryoso sa kanila. Ba’t nila ako pinatulan? Sabi nung isa, ‘Hindi lang din naman kasi kami yung tipong tamad na maghihintay na lang ano na hintayin si Prince Charming. Hehehe. May mga tipo din kami syempre. Ako mas gusto ko yung hindi head-over-heels sa akin. O kaya yung sobrang nagpapapansin. Ikaw, di ka tulad nila ng ibang guys. Hindi lang yung ganda ko yung nakikita mo. Mas kilala mo ako bilang isang tao at babae. Besides, ok ka naman. Good-looking, at matalino pa!’ …Nakakataba ng puso. Di nila alam, napakatorpe ko nung high school. Hahaha.

Ba’t kaya siya ngumiti bigla? Hmm. Sa mga nakasakay ngaun dito sa jeep, siya na yung pinakatipo ko.

Pakiabot nga po ng bayad. Ayala lang.

Ako na kukuha. Dapat pasimple lang. Di kita titignan... Bayad ko nga din pala. [aabot sa purse] Pakiabot din po. Bayad.

Sayang. Di ko man lang nadaplisan na aking kamay yung kamay niya. Ngitian ko na lang ulit para magpasalamat…

[Tingin sa likuran ng jeep, may bagong pasahero?] Oi, gwapo…heheh Hmm, feeling ko nakatingin sa aming dalawa. Ba’t pa kasi tumabi sakin? Huh? [Saan ka ba bababa?] Ahh, Herrera. [Ako din. Ako nga pala si Eugene.] Hi, Tina.

Hm? Naririnig ko boses niya..Tina?[lumingon] May kausap siya?! Sino ‘to? Kung makadiskarte parang kung sino. Pero artistahin talaga dating. Hmm, ba’t naman kasi magkatabi sila. Oh well, ganun nga talaga siguro lovelife. Gwapo loves maganda, average loves average, tapos pangit tsaka pangit yung nagkakatuluyan..hehehe

Nakatingin siya dito? Naiinggit? Nagseselos? Nakangiti?!

Ah, nahuli akong nakatingin. Dapat di halatang naiinggit ako. Wala rin naman akong magagawa, mas malapit yung gwaping kaysa sakin. Sayang, gusto ko pa naman sana talagang makipagkilala sa kanya. Pero ganun talaga, pag magaganda, maraming kaagaw sa atensyon.

[Herrera din ako bababa. Sa may LKG kasi ako nagtatrabaho. Ok lang ba sabayan kita?] Ok lang. Ba’t ganun? Lugi talaga kami mga babae. Yung mga hindi namin gusto, yun pa yung dumidiskarte sayo. Siguro kaya ako tinawag na suplada e dahil sa sinasabihan ko agad sila kung ayoko sa kanila. Eh sa ayaw mo nga naman talaga, may magagawa pa ba ako? Kung lalapitan naman namin yung tipo naming lalake, tatawagin kang malandi. Ano magagawa namin mga babae? Maghintay?

Balik na lang uli ako dun sa kunwaring tulog para di ko na sila pansinin. Nothing I can do here anyways. Naalala ko ulit tuloy torpe days ko dati. Ba’t ba naman kasi ma-inlove ka, doon pa sa maganda? Alam mo namang marami ding nagkakagusto sa kanya. Pati barkada mo magiging karibal mo. Ano ba magagawa ko? Kahit feeling ko pa na may gusto siya sakin, hanggat di ako nakakasiguro, hindi na muna ako kikilos. Ayan tuloy, naging magjowa sila ng barkada ko. Hayyy, ewan..ganun nga talaga siguro. Kung ako yung gusto niya, hinintay niya muna dapat ako. Kung para kami sa isa’t-isa, kami din talaga magkakatuluyan sa bandang huli. Hayyy, pag-ibig nga naman talaga, oo. Bakit pa kasi kami mga lalaki ang kailangan maunang kumilos? Kayo naman kaya mga babae ang manligaw sa amin? Nang matuto kayo kung gaano kahirap eto gawin, at kung gaano kasakit masaktan at mawalan ng loob pag nabasted. Sumisigaw pa kayo ng equal rights, yun pala nasa sa inyo na pala, di niyo lang ginagamit. Kung gusto niyo isang lalake, kumilos na kayo at huwag nang maghintay. Anong malandi sa pag-aamin ng inyong nararamdaman? Hindi niyo ba napapansin kung sinong tumatatawag sa inyo ng ganun? Mga kapwa niyo rin babae na naiinggit sa katapangan niyo! Tsaka hindi lang sa West o kaya Europe, pati ibang conservative countries mga babae na yung nagfifirst move. Sa Japan nga, tradition na nila to give (or even bake) chocolates sa gusto nilang lalake. Sana ganito rin dito sa Pinas…

[Meron bang Herrera? PBCom?] Meron po. Para!

Wah!!! Dito ka na bababa? Baka matagal pa bago ulit tayo magkikita. Isa lang alam kong gagawin sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. **wink**

Paalam na diyan pogi. Huh?! Kindat ba yun? Sakin? Hehehe How cute.

Ayos ngumiti. See you when I see you.
[More than 25 mins of jeep ride, bumaba sa RCBC] Ok work na ulit focus. Maganda umaga ko ngayon, feeling ko buong araw ang swerte ko nito. [Papasok sa GT. Oh Accenture, bida syempre.;p]
[Sa may elevator] Ikaw?

Ikaw? [Kawayan ko na] Hi, I’m Kristina.

I’m Richard.

quotes & insights3

Death comes to us all. Old age renders patience, youth brings exuberance. Sadness is its shadow, longing for it to come as the days move on endlessly. Man has learned of his short lifetime, so he makes much of it. Living in a fast-paced civilization, forgetting most of the time, the essence of living and recognizing the fear of death.

Sometimes apathy is my only consolation rather than sadness. The loss of sense of direction is almost the same as the wanting of death. This will ultimately drive me crazy, as i'm on the edge of the top, looking down, imagining my fall. Why do i want to die as much as i want to live?

The feeling of having lived many times before this life of mine is so overwhelming. I believe that's where i got my sense of things. Knowledge is learned but i haven't done most of them, yet the idea of deja vu clouds my mind like i experienced them firsthand. It's dreading.

The desire for power: i don't blame any man for pursuing it. To want is man's strength. I, for one, wish it's presence; to be drunk, a state of stupor, to somehow feel the sweetness of having control. How do i obtain such?

All things in life we get, we should accept. Struggling could only worsen the situation, yet sometimes man is always looking for hope and portrays Einstein's definition of stupidity. I do believe in fate. Sometimes man defies what has been given tohim, and so he changes his destiny and turns around his life. But can't you see? Maybe that's what fate is all about. In the end, what you will be is what you were supposed to be.

Suicide is the easiest escape out of this world. Despite the fear of death looming, it is overcome by despair&apathy. You lose the feeling of your worth and the meaning of your existence. Losing the will to survive, death becomes an open door.

Timetravel has come to my attention again. As I've said before, there is no such thing. In multi-existing realities, none can go back/forward in time without also changing the space. It may be appropriately called REALITY TRAVEL. But how? ..No. The question would have to be -what traveled? We go now to knowing how the brain works. All the details in processing thought, reasoning, and in almost everything. One cannot alter reality because it will create imbalance. But only knowledge then imparted could have traveled. It would create change, but not imbalance. Is it possible? I don't know. I ask again, how does the mind work? ..If chances are omniscient, then thought-traveling is a wow. We're back again to how powerful the mind is.

I've never discussed the details of my life. It's because I've always believed in the saying, "Exposing yourself is a weakness exposed to your enemies." I've lived different lives. That's all you need to know.

Traveling by the sea, watching the horizon, makes me feel like the heaven and earth slicing. The heaven is moving with me forward forward while the sea is sliding back. Illusion too disparing.

God is both good and evil: theory

yeah, you read that right. think about this for a while. stop what you're doing and think, then you'll see reason. let me tell you mine:
(take this post lightly, enjoy for the fun of reading someone's opinion. don't take this seriously, ok? ;p)

yin yang. i've mentioned before that balance exists in this universe. there is hapinness & sadness, life & death, pain & pleasure, everything & nothing, front & back, offense & defense, good & bad.. logically, if there isn't one, then there is no other. i mean, can you describe what is good when you don't even know what is evil? accept the fact, each one exists with the other. now i think that's enough to suppport the principle of balance in this universe. if not then don't bother reading what's next. (though, i'll try adding later on and editing about this post. i don't think many people are interested in this anyway.)

now, let's explain the existence of God. (this should be another topic, i have varied ideas since i have got one semestral course in this, arguments by St.Anselm's "the fool knows God exist", St.Aquinas' "five ways to cosmological argument", of Willliam Paley's "the watch and the watchmaker", Newman's "conscience dictates there is a God", Pascal's "wager argument", and so many more..but i guess i'll just create one topic on this next time. for now, i'll state some basics and mostly my opinions.) let's start with the idea that i don't believe there are atheists. i know everyone believes in a supreme being. either, they just hate Him for something or they are just too busy and preoccupied with their lives to care.

also, there is the argument of causality. what or who is the cause of all things? Let's have a take on this: suppose you ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing right now. you ask why, then you get an answer. ask again yourself why to your answer. and why to that next answer. and why. until you can't find any reason, but that of something to be the root all causes. for example, i iask: why am i writing? because i want people to read what i'm thinking. why? because i want them to know what i know. why? because i want to share my knowledge. why? because we coexist in this world and so they're a part of my existence. why? because we were born as humans. why? because some higher supreme being made it so. got that? stop asking me why.

ok. that was funny. but seriously, our existence proves that there is a God. the reason that i exist, you exist, we exist, things exist, the universe exists, its because there's someone or something who made it so. Let me quote from Stephen Hawking from his 'A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes', "If we find the answer to the question of why it is that we and the universe exist...it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason - for then we would know the mind of God."

Why are you here? -ever wonder that? now, another assumption was made here, there exists a God. the answer to the ontological argument. if you don't believe so, forget ever reading this.;) (this was the main idea anyway when i started this blog. i believe in a God and try to reason out things about Him.-ontology)

before we move on, i forgot to mention my definition of God. For me, He is THE SUPREME BEING. He is THE CAUSE OF ALL. He is omniscient, all-seeing, powerful, eternal, etc. meaning, everything's possible about Him. He can do anything. He is DESTINY. (now, don't mention the crap about, "if He can do anything, can He make Himself powerless? or something like "if He is THAT powerful, can He create something or someone more powerful than Him?"..forget it, He is the ONE. if you have other definitions of a God, other than a SUPREME BEING, then he is not God. coz we're talking about the ULTIMATE here, ok? if you have problems with that, feel free to comment.;)

now, from above, i've established the principle of balance and that there exists a powerful God. the next question i'd want to know now is: WHERE DID EVIL COME FROM?

let's admit, good is the EQUAL OPPOSITE of evil. if God is all-good then is there someone all-evil equal to GOd? there must be some Supreme Being able to handle that badness. i know, we all favor goodness. i mean, even i want generosity, hapiness, kindness, etc in my life. but we must also admit that part of life is pain, suffering, hatred, and the like. then where did all this come from? Satan? i don't agree with this Christian ideology. if God were the source of all-goodness, and Satan be the source of all-evil, then they must be equals! all of us absolutely disagrees (except of course, demonic cults, satanists, etc.) now, from what i've mentioned above, God is THE ONE. If God had the power to banish Satan, couldn't He have banished evil as well? ok, so you say He has a plan. but doesn't that mean that He has control over evil, as He has control over Satan?

well, i was getting carried. let's get back to the principle of balance. now, if there is SUPREME GOODNESS, then there must be SUPREME EVIL. (if you don't agree, then why is evil as equally present, if not more, than goodness in this world?) God is the source of all goodness, right? then there must be someone that is the source of all evil. (evil and goodness are identities. and identities have a source) But, we can't have two Supreme Beings, there is only ONE, coz by then we would violate the definition of a God. The ULTIMATE must be only one, so now we can suggest that goodness and evil exist together. and the source of all of it is from one being - GOD.

i'll finish this for now. i wrote enough. maybe i'll add later. edit. or another topic.

P.S.
if you like what you have just read, thank you. if not, well, you've read it anyway, so thanks. what i don't want to happen, is that people who would find reason in this will have serious implications to his/her philosophy. let me warn you, this belief sucks, and don't bother to know why. sacrifices because not everything is good for everyone. i warned you anyway. ;p
-athena

time travel

time travel (past) > paradox = when you go to the past you changed something that happened (mere presence of you) which meant that what really happened did not happen...
>embrace the idea of multi-existing realities...

time travel (future) > paradox? = something that has not yet supposed to happen is susceptible to "change"
>can it enbrace the idea of multi-existing realities? partly...

multi-existing realities = infinite = as time is gradually moving forward, each one of 'you' is becoming different from each other

>what if you 'visit' a 'you' that is exactly the same as you? then you have not time-traveled.

>how much is changed to the destination if you time travel? much as time goes on from the start of your arrival. not much at the beginning.

>can you travel to your own existing reality (returning to the past)? no. its not your own reality. time is part of reality.

>how about to the future? that's why i reasoned 'partly' because it is possible to become the reality where you came from or not.

>don't you create the reality you traveled? thinking about it, maybe. but there won't have been a destination to travel if the reality (destination) didn't exist first. you don't create the land, you name it. this is much the same as the issue of the chicken and the egg. it is perfectly logical to start with the chicken because it can survive on its own.

QUOTES & INSIGHTS

To think is the greatest thing that ever happened to man...

To love and to receive it in turn is the perfection of human life...

Ayn Rand's individualismwould have been a favorable ideal for me if not for one missing important factor: human emotion...

The concept of neutrality/balance is the core truth of the universe. Yes, there are extremes, but all in all, everything's fair and not a hair of exception given to one side...

Nowadays, entertainment is the focus of commercialism; the highest standard of living for an individual, in terms of capitalism and fame...

I believe in everything. My motto is: everything's possible, nothing's impossible...;)

Time travel is not possible without also changing space. Reality, for me, is a branch of picture frames (a glimpse of a moment), where the closer the frame is to the root, the farther it is back in time. The branching is the result of infinite possibilities of future events that might have happened. The "what if's" that we've been wondering about. To time travelers (although i don't have much idea in traveling to the future, it might be possible), you must accept that in returning to the past, you'd live in a different future; a new reality. The one you left behind still exist. This is the reason why i believe in a multiverse and multi-existing realities...

The universe holds most of the answers we seek. Our faith holds most of the truths we find. Our minds hold them all together together to ensure our survival.

Time is jade; the wheel of the universse. It is what has kept reallity moving. It is the one giving life to our existence...

Dreams are tricks of the mind; either a glimpse of the future, image of the past, hopes of your fantasies, and even nightmares of your fears. Imagine how powerful your mind is: it processes thought, stimulates reason, stores knowledge, controls the body, and then gives you dreams...

Humans, in everything they do, every sense they make, every thought they imagine, for whatever they are capable of... NO LIMITS!

QUOTES & INSIGHTS

why im not postin much now

...im sorry, i don't have much freer time than before... feels like school's catchin up with me now...haaayyyyyyyy, anyways, i think iill be back soon... maybe sembreak? i hope...

ontology 2

ontology n. The science of real being; the philosophical theory of reality; the doctrine of the universal and necessary characteristics of all existence

ontologism n. The doctrine that man has an immediate and certain knowledge of God, and that this knowledge is the foundation and guaranty of all his knowledge: opposed to psychologism.


There was a day when i tried to scan for words in the dictionary coz i was creating a prose...these are the first two words i found and read...they just hit me and i cant forget them...now, im blogging...maybe, this way, i can share my opinions and beliefs such that i would get criticism and opinions from other people of how they think of me and the topic...